hello, my name is stephanie....and i am a blog stalker

Yes, that's right. I have a problem. I could sit for hours and read about other people's lives - their struggles, their joys, their victories. There are some women on here who are striving and fighting to be Godly. A lot of them are wives and mothers and a lot are single women like me. They make me want to strive even harder in my fight. So I write. I write because I should not live vicariously through others and I write in hopes that through this the Lord will stir my heart and others' hearts more toward him because of the story He is writing with my life.

Bear with me because I have written little in the last 3 years that doesn't have to do with ears. I'll try to keep those out of it (unless I see something really cool :) ). Give me a few posts to get back into the swing of non-academic things.

The Name
The name comes from a Snow Patrol song that talks about taking first steps as a child of 25. I chose it because I very much still feel like a child for a lot of reasons. I have always been in school. That has a way of making you feel young, no matter what age you are. So it doesn't matter that I have a degree hanging on my wall, full time grad school still makes me feel like a child. But now that class is over (I say class, because I won't officially be done with school until May 2, 2008 - one year from tomorrow...woah), I will finally be able to set my own schedule. Go home at night and not feel guilty if I'm not doing homework, studying, working on projects. Make enough money to fully support myself. I was walking the other day and that last one hit me the hardest. I have never done that before (and I have the student loans to prove it!).

I also still feel like a child because I am constantly being taught how completely helpless I am. This is not a bad thing. It's actually been a while getting to this point and has taken some painful falls to realize it, but God continues to shape me and remind me of my weakness...it's miserable and really really beautiful because as the pride and self sufficiency gets pried out of my grubby little hands and chiseled away from my heart and as the lenses that I see through are cleaned, I get these glimpses of the power of the Lord. I still fight (and lose), but He is patient and continues to give me what's best even when I mess up (thank you Kids' Village for kicking my tail...).

So I hope this blog will be the story of my growing up in a lot of ways and of my becoming more and more childlike in my weaknesses and in my faith.